...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
