I'm so fucking centered right now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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