are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize