I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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