so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
