Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
