I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
