He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
