My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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