How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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