i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
