I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
