Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
