Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Drunk is a universal language darling
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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