i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
