we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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