i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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