You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
