I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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