he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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