Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
