There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
