I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
