Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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