How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
