Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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