Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
