I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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