I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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