they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
