oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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