I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
