Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
