Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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