its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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