she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize