is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
