I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
