remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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