and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
