From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We're too hungover to prance.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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