Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
