Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
