I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
