sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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