I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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