my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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