I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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