Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How naked do you want me to be?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
