gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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