Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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