Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
