i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
