HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
