every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
