Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
