oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
