ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
