So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
