he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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