I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
