She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
