he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
