Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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