it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
