38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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